We're not exactly sure why we've been feeling a bit compelled to share this post. Maybe because it's come up in conversations with friends and family enough times. Maybe it's something we feel someone out there needs to hear right now. Who knows, but here goes.
We're blessed with so many family and friends who truly care about our future and well being as a husband and wife unit.
Rami and I have never much cared for certain traditions or mainstream ideas, especially as they relate to gender roles and certain husband / wife relations.
We tied the knot exactly 14 years ago in the deserts of Egypt. It was a very simple ceremony with close family and friends.
That was that. We've been inseparable ever since. We never saw the need for any institutional sanctification on the matter, or anyone else's approval for that matter. The issue of me keeping my own last name or adapting his last name for instance, was a subject that never even came up between us.
We were committed to each other and in love. That's all that really mattered and these silly little marriage formalities seemed so petty and trivial. Our main concerns were travel, exploring natural environments and making the world around us a better place.
To this day, much of our unity is driven by this idealism and how our actions are impacting the world around us. This is how our relationship grew and blossomed. It's what's kept the passion and excitement between us so alive and strong after all these years
We share a vision of a world we're trying to create for our family and community, as well as what we'll both be remembered for in this short journey we call life. It's a vision that we've meticulously planned over many years and through so many of our experiences while traveling and exploring our heritage.
Somewhere along there and very early on in our relationship, we decided to postpone having any children. As the years went on, we continued to postpone for one reason or another, but mostly because we wanted this to be a very intentional decision and commitment between us.
We mutually agreed that we'd never pressure one another into the decision, until we both felt prepared and were in mutual agreement that the time was right.
The conception of a child is something we both one day really look forward to, after so many years together. It's the ultimate culmination of true and everlasting love between a man and a women bound by destiny. Who wouldn't want that?
Like every other decision we've taken as a husband and wife unit; there was a tremendous amount of contemplation, reasoning, and long-term consideration behind this decision.
Now all that being said, we found it very amusing when someone recently insinuated that perhaps we haven't conceived yet, after all these years, because one of us is infertile. They carried on about it being admittedly a difficult subject to talk about, but something we should consider investigating further.
We're still getting such a kick out of those comments.
There are many traditions and ideals still going around today, which we find so irrelevant and just plain archaic. The world has changed so much over the past 20 years and continues to change in much needed ways.
It's really time we stop imposing and / or expecting everyone to conform with some of our current societal norms. Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it's going to work for everyone. This is especially true in consideration of the divisive generational gap we've witnessed in recent years, between parents and children.
Life is so rich, diverse, complicated and uncertain with everyone going through their own personal reality and truths.
That's part of the beauty of God given free-will and and the pursuit of happiness, which is so central to this countries tradition and heritage.
Be yourself. Never feel the need to conform. Your tribe will find you and love you unconditionally just the way you are.
With love,
Shantel & Rami Abdel